There is a great storm, a terrifying storm. At first I’m inside a house witnessing the rain coming down in a deluge, with lightning flashing through the windows, thunder cracking open the sky….And then I’m outside in an alleyway and a presence grabs me from behind, first my right arm and then my left arm. Utter terror overtakes me as I realize no one is there, this presence is invisible. I can’t scream and know this presence is going to kill me. In the dream I realize I’m dreaming and that to save my life I have to wake myself up. In waking up I’m aware of the presence letting go of my body. I feel this happen and I feel very clear and awake.

This dream occurred midway through my three month silent retreat in 2013 and broke the dark spell I had been under for most of my life….the spell of living in a societally induced nightmare where my soul’s purpose was devoted to a fight to save the world…and this fight threatened to give me a heart attack with the depth of grief I experienced in bearing witness to the war against nature.

Facing my mortality in my retreat led to an awakening experience of a deep and profound felt sense that Mother Earth is very much alive, pulsing with a life force that has supported billions of years of ongoing creation and that there is a Great Love emanating from all of Nature and the Great Vastness beyond. With this my focus shifted from fighting against what is destructive to tending to a paradigm that is whole, alive, wild and beautiful and teaching from a place of love, as only Love has the power to turn around the toxic prophecy of our times.

On my journey of life, I’ve learned that to be resilient in the dance of love and grief requires daily practices of heart renewal, and despite my practices, time and again the well of grief still opens their mouth and threatens to swallow me whole. For example, last year after a story told to me by a friend who is a retired wildlife biologist, my heart was shattered and the shards tore me to pieces.

This time I retreated to our mountain with my grief and seeing the innocence of nature in the dark, silky eyes of a doe, sent me into primal screams with visions of running naked in the streets, finally mad beyond return. I’m tearing up as I write this now, my throat getting tight with the recollection of this time as it seemed that nothing would be able to penetrate the darkness I fell into.

And then, it started to rain. Taking shelter under the boughs of a great blue spruce I found myself in the company of a squirrel going about their life, hopping rock to rock over the stream and I could smell the metallic scent of electricity in the air, a smell that indicated a bigger storm was building beyond where I was in the forest. After some time the rain dissipated and I crawled out from under the tree, and went up on a hill to look out at the desert below.

When I arrived on a boulder, where I sat earlier that day with a view of our town, I felt confused as I couldn’t see the prominent feature–a slickrock dome we call the Sugarloaf. Then I gasped as I realized our town was beneath an enormous storm cell, the darkest black-purple you can imagine. From my perch I was above the storm and witnessed lightning flashing above and below the cloud…a Being with intelligent precision and a presence like the most masterful martial artist with barely perceptible movement and a sense of focused intent and power.

A great storm from the perspective of our town moving in from the mountains. Photo credit: Mary McIntyre

I could feel the primal power of the storm in my own cells, and my indigenous soul recognized a Presence with the capacity to heal Mother Earth. As I watched, the storm moved ever so slowly hovering over our town, dark and powerful with the sound of rolling thunder different from the deafening cracks that often come with monsoon rains. This storm had a serious job to do and their skill filled me with the true meaning of Awe….“a feeling of fear or dread, mixed with profound reverence, typically as inspired by God or the divine.” (Oxford English Dictionary)

This powerful Storm Being lingered over our town forever and as the night came in I could see the storm moving to the east, carrying on their sacred work of cleansing and renewing the land. I slept well that night in the forest, nestled in my sleeping bag and comforted by the continuing rumbling of thunder in the distance.

I now take refuge in the power of the storms and a deeper knowledge of Nature’s innate ability to heal. In watching the storms I’m reminded of how Mother Earth actually magnetizes lightning towards her to heal and re-energize her body to support ongoing creation…that lightning purifies the rains, nourishing the plants, trees and all beings.

In witnessing the storms I recognize how Grief moves through me as a primal energy and is equal to the depth of Love I feel for Nature. And it is as if my own love attracts the intensity of the storms that move through me in a process of cleansing and renewal. In this process I embrace the energy of the storm as a force of nature akin to the soul power within myself, focused and intent on the sacred work of bringing my gifts of medicine and healing to the world….for the benefit of All Beings.

This rainbow over Sugarloaf occurred at the close of a ceremony for our kitty, Thunder, who crossed to the spirit realm on Solstice 2017. Photo credit: Erika Songbird

From Sacred Path Cards by Jamie Sams:

The Thunder Beings make up the love call on the Sky Nation. The Fire Sticks or lightning bolts are a rare gift from the Sky Father to the Earth Mother. The Thunderers who accompany a storm carry the mating call that announces the Divine Union of Earth and Sky. The Thunder beings are the host of lovers who give energy to the Earth Mother. The Thunder Chief proclaims the beauty of the love between Father Sky and Mother Earth. The Fire Sticks create a bridge between the two lovers and are a physical expression of their love for one another. The Cloud People gather where the dance of union is to be held and hose the Thunder Chief and Fire Sticks within their bodies awaiting the joyous time. Through this intricate mating dance, our Earth Mother is re-energized so that life may continue through the nurturing Rains who feed her body. Since our Mother Earth is magnetic in nature, she has a need for the electric energies supplied by the Thunder beings. The Rain People recycle the moisture of Sky World and give back to the Earth Mother so that her body may feed all things green and growing.

This act of love between Mother Earth and Father Sky can be tender and gentle or torrid and passionate. This lovemaking is experienced as weather changes and climatic shifts by the Children of Earth. Floods and fires, hail storms and tornadoes, hurricanes and typhoons are the freedom of nature. In every case the end result is the fulfillment of our Earth Mother’s need and must be looked at from the viewpoint of the greatest good for all living creatures.

The Great Storm